On Money & Dating. | HuffPost

Dating money issues, say he...

As in, this past weekend in Atlantic City, I bought a magnet that said "Oops, I spent the grocery money on shoes again. While it might not be romantic for two lovers to discuss money, if you are anywhere near thinking about or being in a serious, committed relationship, it absolutely must be done. How often should a woman contribute financially to the cost of dating a man?

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In the way that there is pressure from men to wine and dine you, there can be pressure to offer up some Hanky Panky as a thank you. While the United States might have a more capitalistic set up, people work everywhere, and they earn and spend money in every part of the world.

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If they are low, then the man believes that he does not need to honor her request; and the woman believes that, to her own peril, it is her duty to support, rather than encourage a man. Living by the motto: Many relationship money issues emerge from the simple fact that couples spend too much time thinking about money and too little time thinking about the things like romance, vacation, family, and building a future together — and not thinking about money at the same time is very difficult indeed.

More than anything, it's important to be conscious of someone else's financial situation before you plan on dates. Women and men must be taught that the amount that they earn, and what they own or labels that they wear does not equate to their value as human beings.

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I'm probably owed some royalties, but I'm too busy being buried under a pile of receipts from Bloomingdales. It is critical, to recognize and to be able to openly and comfortable admit that money is important to you and to your relationships. Not only should you not resent someone for making you go somewhere that will impact your spending abilities, but also just suggest a different spot.

You want to own what you have and where you come from, so you should never feel any pressure to hook up with someone just because they've spent money on you. Or at least somewhere you can talk to each other.

Grown women do not need to explain themselves. Of course, emergencies may occur, but if a woman or a man for that matter feels that their partner is always living a financial nightmare, then make sure that you are not perceived as a walking ATM machine. Which is what matters anyway - everyone can spend money on someone for a first date, but not everyone can cook up something good.

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Many women report that they find these requests a turn off and a signal that this man cannot provide for himself. Money in general is sticky - awkward, polarizing, and difficult. I caution against it because both men and women are legally unprotected and financially vulnerable.

Balance is the key.


Sit down with her and lay down the laws together so that dating money issues of you are on the same page. You don't owe him a makeout. These women are misguided.

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Women are often accused of being gold diggers if they are mindful of how financially successful a man is before she dates him.